They explained what happened.
My sister was diagnosed with cancer last year. It has been hard on our family and even harder on her. I love my sister and I tried to be there for her as best as I could. I also did everything I could to make things easier for my parents. I took over all chores, cooked every day, cleaned the house, did laundry, took care of my younger siblings, and babysat them more.
Luckily she is doing really well and has recently finished her treatment which is great, and we are all grateful. Our birthdays are two weeks apart, and hers was two weeks ago. My parents bought her a new car to celebrate after everything she went through which I understand, she does deserve it, but I was a bit surprised because I thought they didn’t have any money. My dad has been unwilling to help me get a used car since last year, telling me that they do not have the money.
I didn’t even want him to pay for all of it, I have been saving up and just wanted them to help me with the rest, but he kept telling me that they have no money for that. Well, my birthday just rolled around, and my parents bought me a book that I mentioned in passing and a $25 take-out gift card to a place I like. I thanked them, but they saw that I wasn’t too thrilled and asked me what was wrong.
I told them that while I appreciated the gifts, I thought that they were finally going to help me with the remaining $800 for buying the used car seeing that they could now afford a new car for my sister. But that’s when they accused me of being jealous of my sister who had just gone through something very traumatic and that I was trying to make everything about me and why couldn’t just be happy for her. They said that at the end of the day, I had a job and could just continue saving.
People stood on OP’s side.
- “It’s not jealousy to feel undervalued. I understand your sister has been through hell, but siblings of sick kids always seem to get lost in the panic. It’s entirely up to you, but if it were possible, I’d really talk to your parents about how this made you feel. You stepped up and took care of the household while never giving up on your sister.
I think they’re probably scared, and I get that the diagnosis changed everyone’s lives, but if they continue to paint this picture of you in their heads that you’re resentful and jealous, that can so negatively impact your relationship with them in the future.” Arakarani / Reddit - “Yes, your sister went through a lot, but so did you. I understand that while she was going through treatment she may have gotten more gifts from friends, family, etc. But when giving gifts to you and your sister for birthdays, Christmas, etc., their values should be equal.” sammac66 / Reddit
- “Your parents are harming all of their children with the special treatment they are giving one of the kids. That kid has now learned that she just needs to be sick, and she will get all of the love, attention, and gifts.” Beautiful-Elephant34 / Reddit
- “This would be the end of me helping out. Do your chores and move on. It’s sad that your sister has to deal with cancer. But the gap between gifts is too much. And if you keep giving, your resentment will keep building.” Aggressive_Cup8452 / Reddit
“I’d get more hours at work so you can save more for that car. If you can’t babysit anymore, well, too bad. You are just doing what they said, right?
Also, I would study more in a quiet library or start volunteering in your community and so on. All those extra chores you have done to help out, nope. They can do them now that the treatments are over.” Round_Butterfly2091 / Reddit
“This is a surefire way for your parents to create a situation where you resent both them and your sibling. I understand wanting to do something nice for your sister after what she’s been through, but the gifts are really disproportionate, and I’m not sure why they thought that was a good idea. Especially if you’ve been carrying the weight of chores and housework for others while your sister has been sick.” Honest-Sector-4558 / RedditNavigating the complex emotions of their sister’s triumph over cancer and the disparate gifts they received has been a journey of its own. In the end, their sister’s health and happiness were the true rewards, and that was something they all received.
