How My MIL Ended Up Living With Us.
34-year-old Megan shares the uncomfortable position she’s found herself in with her mother-in-law and husband. She wrote us a letter explaining the situation, “Hi! I have seen similar stories on your page, so I’m sharing mine too. I want to get this off my chest. And I hope someone, who is reading this, will be able to suggest what I should do next.”
She explains how her MIL ended up living with her, “My husband, John (36), and I got our own place together years before we got married. His family was fine with it, and so was mine. But then, John’s parents separated, and his mom came to live with us.”
Why I Think It’s Time for Her to Move Out.
Megan reveals why she’s suddenly not okay with her mother-in-law living in the house, “My MIL has been living with us for 10 years now. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I’ve managed without saying anything so far. I’m currently pregnant with our third, and space is becoming an issue. It’s time for my MIL to move out.
We have a 5-bedroom house. Our eldest daughter has a room, our younger one has a room, one is taken by my MIL, one is ours, and I’ve converted one room into an office space for myself. There’s just no room for the new baby.”
How This Living Situation Affects Our Marriage.
Successful marriages work on love and sacrifices, but Megan feels she’s made enough already, “I’ve been trying to talk to my husband about this for months. He changes the topic or just dismisses it. Last night, I told him seriously that his mother needed to go.”
“All this time she has lived with us, she has never paid for any bills or utilities. Never even bought us or our two children anything out of the goodness of her heart. She is employed and makes decent money. She can afford it, and I don’t want my children to share a room.
When I brought this up, my husband got offended and said, ’We could make your office the baby’s room. It’s not like you’d be working when the baby comes.’ Words cannot describe the frustration I felt at that moment.”
Can We Find a Compromise?
The expecting mother reveals she has suggested various other compromises, “When I told my husband that giving up the office is not an option, he suggested that our daughter could share the room with the baby. This is something that I don’t think is right. We don’t know whether our baby will be a boy or a girl and either way, I want to respect my daughter’s personal space. Instead, I suggested that if he is so adamant about his mother not leaving, maybe she could adjust in the basement. It’s quite spacious, and we could make it comfy for her.”
“However, my husband is really against the idea and thinks I’m a bad person for thinking that way. Am I really? I just want the best for my kids. What should I do?”
Here’s what our readers think about this situation.
- Never live with in-laws, it’s a guarantee of a trip to the divorce courts. © Elvira Feher / Facebook
- I think making the basement into a granny flat would be an excellent idea. She can pay for the alterations and maybe having a bathroom put in and small kitchenette for herself, and I would think she would like this idea. Otherwise, if she doesn’t like this, maybe she could pay for your older daughter to have her own super space down there. As she earns, she is of course responsible for paying her way and maybe with you all helping her to design the space and making it super comfortable. You and your husband are not responsible for financially helping her but seem to be good son and DIL for loving and supporting her for so long. © Barbara Jones / Facebook
- May be your MIL and newborn baby could share the room? I bet your MIL wouldn’t like this idea. © Yana Akkanson / Facebook
© Pixabay / Pexels
Rent a place for yourself and your 3 children and move out. File divorce papers, get half of the house at current price to be paid in 1 month and be happy for the rest of your life. © Brigitta Koves / Facebook
The situation is complicated, and if you simply give your husband an ultimatum, there’s a chance it will lead to a divorce. If you want to take a gentler approach, persuade your husband to visit a family therapist so he can understand your feelings. But if that doesn’t help, be firm, issue the ultimatum, but consult a lawyer first and mentally prepare yourself for divorce. © Lucy Hems / Facebook
Unfortunately, in-laws often interfere in family life. Here’s a story about how a husband invited his mother on a two-week trip without asking his wife.
Preview photo credit cottonbro studio / Pexels
